How To: Drive Like a Sicilian

 As we spend our last night in Sicily I reflect upon the lessons we have learned. How Sicilians created their stained glass windows (they hired Muslims), how to harvest sea salt (be prepared to devote a year to it), how many Sicilians are red headed (8%), and the best flavors of gelato (depends which one of us you ask). But through it all there is one lesson we would give anyone planning to travel in Sicily,

How to drive like a Sicilian

1. No matter what you see, you must believe that are no other cars on the road but you. Therefore you take the fastest route to get to where you’re going and you always have the right of way. 
2. Lanes are optional, using the middle of the road gives you more options.
3. Stop signs are suggestions
4. Speed limits are only for tourists
5. Honking is a national sport. If you don’t hear at least 3 honks per drive you should question whether you are actually in Sicily 
6. That funny lever on the left side of the wheel does nothing important and will never be used
7. There is no need to stop for pedestrians, just simply swerve around them. They’ll move, they have legs after all.
8. Brakes are only to be used at the last possible moment and must always be accompanied by a horn when in traffic.
9. No GPS has caught up with Sicily. Some roads exist, some roads are stairs, some roads are houses.
10. Don’t listen to Birgit as she navigates, she trusts the maps app despite what her eyes see
11. Every vehicle is an off roading vehicle 
12. You must honk when you go around a corner so you don’t have to slow down
13. The road is parking
14. The sidewalk is parking
15. The middle of the street is parking

Next come Awards!

The Twisty Turney Award: Goes to Birgit for driving for 4 hours on roads so twisty and turney and narrow that everyone was clenching. But she got through it without nausea and with compassion for those that had it. 

The Moonwalk Award: Goes to Karen for driving backwards, up a hill, with a stick shift due to Birgit’s terrible navigation.

The Moral Support Award: Goes to Libby for remaining in the backseat making helpful yet funny comments as someone else drives.

The Animal Spotting Award: Goes to Bryce for helpfully pointing out every animal that she saw no matter what was going on 

All in all we had a good time on the road. Whether Karen was screaming because someone was coming around a curve and she thought we had gone momentarily blind and didn’t see it, or Birgit is telling us all to clench to magically make the car become thinner, we had fun. We had fun when Libby was being a grumpasaurus and when Bryce had a headache. We just plain had fun.